🍨 Chain of Fools
Crypto scams go sentient, Christie’s sells mansions for magic internet money, and ETH whales flex harder than your DAO founder’s Lambo pic.
This Week’s Vibe Check
Welcome back to The Geral, your weekly dispatch from the warped intersection of Web3 degeneracy and dev hustle. While AI scammers impersonated your grandma and billionaires started buying mansions with meme coins, Scout Game devs were grinding out DEV tokens like it’s fiscal war. Strap in, click nothing suspicious, and maybe don’t buy real estate with Doge unless it's beachfront.
The Headlines
Buy a Mansion with Magic Internet Money
Christie’s International just dropped a new division to sell you mansions for crypto, because wiring millions through shell companies was getting too basic. Now you can drop $65M in Ether for a Bel Air pad and keep your name out of the tabloids. With over $1B in listings ready for wallet-only buyers, Christie’s is betting big that your JPEG fortune should buy you more than cartoon apes. Privacy? Check. Flex? Double check. Banks? Who?
Full article
Crypto Scams Go Full Black Mirror, Now Featuring Deepfake Grandma
Crypto scams didn’t just level up… they ascended. Fraud is up 456%, and scammers now sound like your mom, your boss, or that hot crypto bro from Twitter. They're deepfaking voices, flashing fake BitLicenses, and herding folks into Telegram like it’s 2018. Even MoonPay’s CEO got bamboozled out of $250K by someone pretending to be a Trump inauguration insider (?!). Global losses hit $10.7B in 2024, but most victims don’t report it, because shame, or they dropped their ETH at a deli crypto ATM. Lawmakers are finally doing something, but for now, maybe just call your actual grandma first?
Full article
ETH Hoarders Anonymous: SharpLink Chugs 77K Tokens, Still Not King
SharpLink just dropped $290M for another 77,210 ETH like it’s buying snacks, now holding a chunky 438,190 ETH. But BitMine sipped their cocktail in Vegas and said, “Cute,” with a reigning stash of 625K ETH and a fresh $1B stock buyback plan. One’s hoarding crypto, the other’s buying themselves. Meanwhile, ETH hovers above $3,800, unfazed by the Fed’s drama. Financial infrastructure? More like blockchain’s Hunger Games.
Full article
What’s New for Developers
Scout Game Season 2: Fresh Start, Fresh DEV Tokens
Season 2 of Scout Game just kicked off, and it’s the prime week to jump in. Why? Because every scout starts from zero. No legacy buffs, no whale hoarding. Everyone’s rebuilding from scratch, buying Season 2 developer cards on a bonding curve (read: cheaper now, pricier later).
Each week of play earns DEV, and sticking through all 13 weeks maxes your bag and your Season 3 airdrop. Missed Week 1? No sweat. Join any week. There are always new devs hitting the market, and if your scout eyes are sharp, you can still snipe gold.
🚀 Founders, Stop Posting Like Interns
You built a startup. Time to sound like it. Every week, our founder Alex drops spicy takes on personal branding, plus AI tools that’ll make content creation feel like cheating (because it kinda is). No fluff. No hustlebro cringe. Just real stuff to make your founder voice actually heard.
🧠 Geral’s Brainteaser
Last Week’s Riddle Recap: The Token Switcheroo
Three wallets. One truthful label. One coin pull. One shot to guess them all.
Answer:
“RANDOM” = ETH
“BTC” = RANDOM
“ETH” = BTC
Logic over labels. GG.
This Week’s Teaser: The Gasless Gamble
You and a friend are racing for the last mint. Identical gas, same chain, different nonces.
Who gets it and why?
🧩 Tune in next week for the answer. Until then, may your nonce always be lower.
That’s a Wrap
Thanks for surviving another week onchain. Go mint some DEV tokens, dodge some deepfakes, and try not to buy real estate from someone in a Discord DM.
Until next week… stay Geral.